Veg Out

I’ve always said, well, maybe not always, but recently, that there are three topics that can always start an argument: What god you believe in (or don’t), what political party you vote for, and what foods you eat (specifically meat eaters versus vegetarians).

For some reason, when people learn that I’m vegan, one of two statements follows: “Where do you get your protein?” or “Yeah, gee, you know, I don’t really eat that much meat.” I find both amusing for very different reasons. The protein thing is funny because I used to be one of those people asking that very question of my vegan friend twelve years ago. Once I got educated (or VEGucated, if you will. Okay, I stole that from Marisa Miller Wolfson.), I realized how silly the question is. A lot of mammals are herbivores. Think of cows. They weigh hundreds of pounds. Clearly, they get everything they need from plant foods. At least they would if they were allowed to graze on actual grass and not confined to dirty feedlots, eating a soy bean and corn diet, or worse, the brains of dead friends. (Hello, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy? One order of Mad Cow Disease, please.).

It seems so obvious now, but for a long time I was clueless. Self-imposed stupidity. Sometimes it is easier to bury your head in the sand than acknowledge what is really going on and changing your habits, especially when it comes to factory farming and slaughterhouses. I avoided those images for a very long time. It’s easy to convince yourself that it’s not really happening or that it’s just that one slaughterhouse. There’s something disconnected about the way we view the food on our plates and the animals on a farm. We use creative words to describe things in a way that makes them easier to eat – chop, crispy, bacon, steak, drumstick. We learn as kids to place cows, pigs, and chickens in one category; dogs, cats, horses in another. One group we eat and wear, the others we don’t.

The “I don’t eat much meat” statement is obviously a knee-jerk reaction to my eating no animals. The funny part is when they start listing all the “not much meat” they actually eat. “I eat a burger every once in a while, you know, maybe once or twice a week. Fish, too, but just salmon. And shrimp – are they considered fish? Oh, and crab. I love crab. Chicken, but just a couple of times a week. But that’s about it. Oh, and bacon. I loooooove bacon. Who doesn’t love bacon, right? The Divine Swine……” It’s usually around this point that their voice trails off and they stop talking and the awkward silence settles in until someone clears their throat and starts talking about something neutral, like the war in Iraq.

There is something freeing about living your values. I like knowing that something hasn’t died for my appetite. I attended a dinner recently for a local dog and cat rescue. There wasn’t one vegetarian, let alone vegan, item on the menu. When I mentioned it to one of the organizers, she just looked at me with a confused expression on her face. I asked her if she thought it was odd that we’re trying to save one animal while eating another. She didn’t. “Cows and chickens don’t live in our homes, so why should we try to rescue them?” Um, well, I wasn’t suggesting that we should go out and rescue all of them necessarily, just not serve them at a benefit for animals. It’d be like wearing leather at an anti-fur rally. She wasn’t getting it and made a hasty exit, far, far away from me.

People get defensive for no apparent reason. It is odd how a simple acknowledgment, like “I’m vegan,” causes people to get their backs up and feel the need to explain (justify?) their eating habits. I got into a heated debate (argument really) with a good friend over this very issue. The most unfortunate part of the conversation was that it took place in my car in the middle of a long, five-hour drive. You can’t really go anywhere in a Prius, even if you’re not speeding down the highway. Our “discussion” centered around milk and cheese and how she could “never give up cheese” and “what’s the big deal anyway?” it’s just milk and it’s not like any cows die or anything, right? Um…. well, no!!! When I started to explain that dairy cows are repeatedly impregnated and male calves are sold for veal, she emptied both barrels. Her reaction was damn near nuclear. 

Talking to her, with her in that state, was next to impossible. She was throwing out wild assertions like “dairy cows aren’t slaughtered for meat” and “cows can lactate for three years.” I kept repeating “that’s not true,” which only made her scream, “IT IS TRUE!” Even when I reminded her of a meat recall in California in which downed dairy cows made it into the human food supply as hamburger for the school lunch program and the fact that we humans (mammals, like cows) can’t lactate for three years unless we become pregnant again, she kept on yelling that I was wrong.  

She then accused me of having an agenda. An agenda? Yes, a (gasp!) vegan agenda to make everyone stop eating animals. “It’s impossible!!” She shrieked. Her suggestion was to make their life “better” before we murder them. Oh, great idea. Who defines “better?” Us or the animals? I’m thinking the pig has a vested interest in how that conversation goes. As for an agenda, I don’t have one, but if I did, stopping the senseless deaths of 100 billion animals worldwide each year sounds like a pretty awesome agenda to have. Sign. Me. Up! Second, I don’t expect Eskimos, living on a frozen tundra, to grow broccoli and make tofu. I’m not an idiot. Third, what about the “agenda” of the meat, dairy, and egg industries? How many “happy asparagus” commercials do you see on TV? How many “Got hummus” mustaches adorn the upper lip of celebrities in magazines? When have you ever seen, “Tofu. It’s what’s for dinner,” on a billboard? Yeah. My big agenda. Hold on while I get the Kale lobbyist on the phone. Oh, that’s right. There isn’t one.

I still talk about veganism (clearly). I “bake and release” as I like to call it (keeps me from Hoovering up a dozen cupcakes and I can dispel myths about vegan foods). I share news stories about animal abuse and factory farms with friends on Facebook. I espouse the health benefits whenever nutrition comes up. Occasionally, I pick fights with people wearing T-shirts that say, “I like animals… on my plate.” I challenge the idea that dogs and cats are the only animals that shouldn’t be slaughtered. There are, of course, some people that you just can’t reach. People who raise animals and then kill them will not be moved to change based on compassion. 

We each have our own path in life and have to follow our inner ethical compass. For me, that means living as compassionate a life as possible. Am I perfect? Hardly. But, as the brilliant activist and author Colleen Patrick-Goudreau said, “Don’t do nothing because you can’t do everything. Do something. Anything.” This is my anything.