Adventures in Vegan Butter Making

I love Earth Balance. It’s a great nondairy butter that you can cook and bake with (and it’s great on toast). But, it can be expensive – upwards of $4.50 for 15 ounces. So, I decided to try my hand at making vegan butter myself. 

I turned to Professor Google and found a number of recipes. Some were ridiculously complicated and involved nut (milk) sacks (insert joke here). I wanted something relatively simple with uncomplicated ingredients. Most nondairy butters contain Palm or Soy oils which are not the best choices given GMOs (Soy) and rainforest destruction (Palm). Even Safflower has been genetically modified to be used as an industrial lubricant. So, whatever plant oil you’re going to use, go for organic or labeled “non-GMO” to avoid that.

The following recipe was the one out of five recipes I looked at and decided to try. It does contain soy lecithin, an emulsifier, but you can buy non-GMO granules from Now Foods and Swanson and other companies. Some folks may have a problem with soy lecithin, but I’m not worried about 2 ¼ teaspoons in one pound of butter.

Another ingredient is xanthan gum. You might be thinking, “What the heck is this?” You will probably find it in the list of ingredients in some of your baked goods. It’s basically a thickener and it’s used frequently in gluten-free baking to substitute for gluten. It helps keep oil droplets from sticking together and separating and solid particles from settling to the bottom. In a nutshell, it keeps your mix "mixed." It can be expensive, so look for it in a bulk bin and only buy a few ounces at a time.

Original recipe:

¼ cup + 2 teaspoons soy milk

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

¼ - ½ teaspoon salt

½ cup + 2 Tablespoons + 1 teaspoon refined coconut oil, melted

1 Tablespoon canola oil, safflower oil or sunflower oil

1 teaspoon liquid soy lecithin -or- liquid sunflower lecithin -or- 2 ¼ teaspoons  soy lecithin granules

¼ teaspoon xanthan gum

Directions

1) Place the soy milk, apple cider vinegar, and salt in a small cup and whisk together with a fork. Let it sit for about 10 minutes so the mixture curdles.

2) Melt the coconut oil in a microwave so it's barely melted and as close to room temperature as possible. Measure it and add it and the canola oil to a food processor. Making smooth vegan butter is dependent on the mixture solidifying as quickly as possible after it's mixed. This is why it's important to make sure your coconut oil is as close to room temperature as possible before you mix it with the rest of the ingredients.

3) Add the soy milk mixture, soy lecithin and xanthan gum to the food processor. Process for 2 minutes, scraping down the sides halfway through the duration. Pour the mixture into a mold and place it in the freezer to solidify. (I used a silicone mold so they’d pop out easy.)

The vegan butter should be ready to use in about an hour. Store it in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 1 month or wrapped in plastic wrap in the freezer for up to 1 year. Makes 1 cup (215 grams), or the equivalent of 2 sticks vegan butter.

This recipe created an interesting taste. You can definitely taste the coconut flavor from the oil. It needed a tad more salt, just a pinch. It’s not something I would want to put on bread because of the strong coconut flavor, but you can certainly use it to bake with. The coconut flavor should bake out, especially if you use a strong flavor like cocoa or chocolate chips in the recipe. I’m not sold on the fact that it made one pound of butter. I didn’t weigh it, but visually it looked more than a stick and a half.

Using this recipe, I decided to switch up the oils. I added Safflower and Sunflower. Here’s the new recipe:

¼ cup + 2 teaspoons soy milk

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

½ teaspoon salt

3 Tablespoons Canola oil

¼ cup Safflower Oil

¼ cup Coconut Oil

1 tsp Sunflower oil

1 teaspoon liquid soy lecithin -or- liquid sunflower lecithin -or- 2 ¼ teaspoons soy lecithin granules (I rounded to 1 Tablespoon of soy lecithin – it’s close enough)

¼ teaspoon xanthan gum

Mix everything together like you did with the other recipe. If you fill your ice cube tray to the top, it will take closer to 2 hours to solidify. I also let my milk mixture “curdle” for longer than 10 minutes as I was in the middle of baking cupcakes. Not sure how much of a difference it made, but it “blobbed” up pretty good in that amount of time.

I have to say I am very happy with this recipe. It is “buttery” tasting but not overpowering. I may still tweak it occasionally until I get it just right. But, this is certainly a decent, and cheaper, stand-in for store bought brands.

*Note: If you’re going to play around with the oils, make sure you pick one that solidifies when cold, otherwise, once your frozen butter softens it will become liquid. Make that oil (such as olive oil) the main oil so that it stays solid when chilled. 

Low Fat Vegan Chocolate Cupcakes

Recipe adapted from The Happy Herbivore

Ingredients

1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup raw sugar
1 cup chocolate nondairy milk (or plain)
1 tsp mint extract (or vanilla)
1 1/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup vegan chocolate chips

Directions

1.     Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly grease a muffin tin or spray paper liners with cooking spray. 

2.     In a large bowl, combine applesauce, sugar, nondairy milk, and extract. 

3.     In another bowl, whisk flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt together. Add flour mixture to wet mixture in 3 to 4 batches, until almost combined. 

4.     Add chips and stir until just combined. 

5.     Spoon batter into cups 3/4 full and bake 15-25 minutes. 

6.     Meanwhile, prepare the icing. Combine 1 cup Confectioners’ sugar with a few drops of food coloring, 1/4 tsp vanilla or mint extract, and a splash of plain nondairy milk or water, and mix until a nice paste-like icing results. (Add more sugar for thickness, more liquid to thin it out) Adjust food coloring. Once cupcakes are cool, slather icing and garnish with holiday candy.

I made these cupcakes twice. The first time I made them, I used paper liners and forgot to spray them with cooking spray. Big mistake. Because there’s no oil in the cupcakes, the batter stuck to the liners and it made it near impossible to separate the cake from the liner. 

I also had an issue with the huge range of cooking time. Fifteen to twenty-five minutes is a big gap. I went the full 25 minutes and that was definitely too long for my oven. Because you have chocolate chips in the recipe, sticking a toothpick in the center will not come out clean and you may over bake. It’s better to tap the top of the cupcake to check for firmness/doneness.

The second time I baked them, I used liners with foil. This worked out much better and there wasn't a need to spray the liners. I also cut the cooking time to 22 minutes. This was the perfect amount of time. 

I tried twice to make the icing and failed miserably. The first time I made the icing, it was too wet (which, ironically, I prefer). The second time, I added a lot more sugar to get the "paste-like" texture and that was too thick. It was hard to pipe and without any fat, it separated and "melted." 

I would definitely recommend the cupcake recipe but not the frosting. You're better off with a buttercream frosting or adding a little corn syrup to the recipe. 

Tempeh Piccata

Recipe by Chloe Coscarelli from Chloe’s Kitchen

Ingredients

·               8 ounces (1 package) tempeh

·               4 tablespoons olive oil, divided

·               1 small onion, chopped

·               2 cloves garlic, minced

·               1 cup vegetable broth

·               1 tablespoon cornstarch or arrowroot (for thickening)

·               3 tablespoons lemon juice

·               2 tablespoons nondairy butter

·               2 tablespoons capers, drained

·               2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped

·               Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

1.      Use a steamer basket placed over a large pot of water or any other steamer you have on hand to steam the tempeh for approximately 20 minutes. (Steaming will remove the bitter taste from the tempeh).

2.      In a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil over medium high heat.

3.      Slice the tempeh horizontally into fingers, then place the tempeh in the skillet and cook until browned, about two to five minutes per side.

4.      Transfer the tempeh to a plate and set aside.

5.      In the same skillet, heat the remaining 2 tablespoons of oil and sauté the onions until soft, about five to seven minutes.

6.      Add the garlic and cook until fragrant, about two more minutes.

7.      Season with salt and pepper to taste, then slowly add the broth to the skillet. (Be careful when adding the broth to avoid spattering the oil).

8.      Reduce heat to medium to cook down the broth for about two minutes.

9.      While the broth cooks down, whisk together the cornstarch or arrowroot with 2 tablespoons of water. The thickener may seize up but will loosen as you whisk.

10.    Whisk the thickening mixture into the broth mixture in the skillet. Continue to whisk until the sauce thickens, then add the tempeh back to the skillet.

11.     Reduce heat to low, add the lemon juice, and allow to simmer for about three minutes.

12.    Remove from heat and stir in the butter until melted and fully incorporated.

13.    Stir in the capers and parsley.

14.    Season again with salt and pepper to taste.

This is unbelievably tasty. You can even perk it up by using white wine with the vegetable broth (adjust the total liquid amount if you’re going to do that). I used 3 cloves of garlic because I love garlic and Huck doesn’t mind stinky breath. Cutting the tempeh into triangles can be tricky, but don't worry if the pieces don't stay together. You can have some as "crumbles" and it won't affect the dish.

I served this alongside a mixed green salad made with Chloe’s recipe for Caesar dressing:

Caesar Dressing

(Makes about 3/4 cup dressing)

• 1/4 cup soft tofu
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 Tbsp lemon juice
• 1 Tbsp white or apple cider vinegar
• 1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
• 1 Tbsp white miso paste
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
• 1 Tbsp Capers, drained (optional) (I added this for the briney-ness of the capers since non-vegan Caesar dressing has anchovies in it. You could also use black sea salt for an "eggy" taste or kelp powder for the "fishy" taste.)

Place all ingredients in a blender and process until smooth. Taste for seasoning. 

Cinnamon Espresso Chocolate Chip Cookies

The cookie dough can be made in advance and kept refrigerated for up to 1 week or frozen for up to 1 month.

Recipe by Chloe Coscarelli from Chloe’s Kitchen

Yield: Makes 26 (3-inch) cookies                  

Ingredients

·         2 c. all-purpose unbleached flour

·         ½ tsp. baking powder

·         ¾ tsp. ground cinnamon

·         ¼ tsp. sea salt

·         1 c. vegan margarine (I used 2 sticks of Earth Balance)

·         3 Tbs. instant espresso powder 

·         1 c. powdered sugar

·         ½ c. packed brown sugar

·         1½ c. semisweet chocolate chips

·         About ¼ c. granulated sugar for sprinkling

Directions

1.   Preheat oven to 350°F.

2.   Line 2 or 3 large baking sheets with Silpat or parchment paper.

3.   In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt.

4.   Using a mixer, beat margarine and espresso powder until well combined. Add powdered sugar and brown sugar, and beat until combined.

5.   Mix in the flour mixture, ½ cup at a time. If dough seems too dry to scoop, add 1 to 2 tablespoons of water. Stir in chocolate chips.

6.   Scoop about 2 tablespoons dough at a time. Roll each scoop in a small plate of sugar. Place, dome side up, on the prepared baking sheets, about 2 inches apart. For crisper cookies, gently flatten the dough with the palm of your hand. For softer cookies, leave as is.

7.   Bake about 12 to 14 minutes or until the edges are browned. Let cool on a wire rack and serve.

Oven temperatures vary, so you may end up baking these longer than 14 minutes. I went 17 minutes before mine started to brown around the edges and "firmed" up in the middle. I made both soft and crisp versions to see which one I preferred. It's really a personal preference. I happen to like both crispy and soft cookies, so I ate both versions!

This is a very delicious and simple recipe that you can use and change up pretty easy. I'm going to experiment with Chai tea flavorings and vanilla and maybe add some nuts (walnuts or pecans). Because of the espresso powder, don't eat these right before bed or you'll be staring at the ceiling until 3 am!

Enjoy!

Spaghetti Squash w/ Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Chick Peas and Cornbread

Tried two new recipes Tuesday night: Spaghetti Squash with Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Chick Peas and Cornbread (both from the Happy Herbivore cookbook).

Let’s start with the cornbread. It’s nearly fat-free. It’s also vegan, so no eggs or cow’s milk. It turned out pretty moist (I may have over baked it by a minute or two), but doesn’t have a really strong corn flavor. I love cornbread with a strong taste. This one, while good, could be improved upon. Maybe some corn kernels or pureed corn (added moisture). I’m hesitant to add more cornmeal as it might make it too gritty. I used soy milk. Coconut milk might be good, but does have more fat, defeating the purpose. Rice milk might be a better option or maybe a combo of the two. There is also corn flour, but am not sure if it even tastes like corn. Maybe I can roast some corn, puree it, and use that as most of the liquid with some soy milk thrown in.

The second recipe was interesting. I like the idea of Brussels sprouts, spaghetti squash, and chick peas (I added mushrooms because I love them and they were starting to look sad in my fridge), but the seasonings weren’t right for me. Dried basil, almonds, and red pepper flakes – weird! I made it according to the recipe, but for next time I’m thinking of using fresh basil, garlic, and grape tomatoes. And maybe some scallions instead of white onion.

I didn’t have an hour to roast the squash, so I microwaved it. Came out fine. Not sure if roasting would make a difference to taste or texture. Maybe I’ll try that next time, too. This recipe is also low-fat. The squash is kind of sweet and buttery-tasting, so I don’t want to cancel that out with something strong like cumin or smoked paprika. Spinach might be interesting in place of, or in addition to, basil.

I ate it as is but it could definitely go over some rice or quinoa. It’s close to a stew, so you could do a side salad and some hearty bread with Earth Balance (instead of icky cow’s milk butter).

I always like to prepare a recipe as is the first time I make it and then add my spin to it. Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures. Sorry!! But, I have pics of upcoming recipes and will post those soon - Tacos with an amazing "sour cream" dressing, Caesar Salad dressing, and Tempeh Piccata (piccata means meat coated and sauteed in a sauce). Tempeh is fermeneted soy beans and it is super yummy.

Here are the recipes:

Spaghetti Squash with Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Chick Peas 

Ingredients

·         1 spaghetti squash (if you can't find spaghetti squash because it's out of season, just substitute your favorite pasta)

·         1 pound Brussels sprouts

·         1 medium onion, halved and thinly sliced

·         3 cloves garlic, pressed

·         1/2 cup vegetable broth

·         15 ounces chickpeas, rinsed and drained

·         2 teaspoons dried basil

·         1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (or to taste)

·         salt and black pepper, to taste

·         1 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice

·         sliced almonds, optional 

Instructions

1.       Preheat oven to 400. Pierce a spaghetti squash 8-10 times with a skewer or thin knife (pierce deeply through flesh into center). Place on a baking sheet on center rack of oven. Bake for 30 minutes and then turn 1/4 turn. Bake another 30 minutes or until outside has browned in places and shell feels soft. Remove from oven and set aside until cool enough to handle. Once it’s cool, cut it in half and remove and discard the seeds and scrape the strands of squash out with a fork. Put the squash into a bowl and set aside.  (I omitted this step and cooked my squash in the microwave. Make sure you poke holes in it!)

2.      While the squash is cooking, prepare the Brussels sprouts. Trim and discard the ends and cut the sprouts in half (quarter larger sprouts). Place on a baking sheet and spray quickly (2 seconds) with olive oil*. (This prevents burning; if you don’t want to use the oil, cover loosely with a sheet of aluminum foil.) When the squash has almost finished cooking, put the sprouts into the oven and bake for about 15 minutes, stirring halfway through. Remove them when they are just beginning to be touched by brown but are not burning (they will finish cooking in the skillet in the next step). *If you're not worried about added fat, put the Brussels Sprouts in a bowl and coat with EVOO, then transfer to the baking sheet.

3.      In a large, deep, non-stick skillet, cook the onions in a little water on medium-high heat until they become golden, about 5-6 minutes. Add the Brussels sprouts, garlic, and vegetable broth and cover tightly. Cook for 3-5 minutes, adding more broth or water if skillet becomes dry. Add the chickpeas, basil, and red pepper flakes. Stir in the spaghetti squash, and toss gently to mix. Cook until heated through. Add salt and pepper to taste, along with lemon juice. Serve topped with crushed or sliced almonds, if desired.  

Fat-Free Cornbread 

Ingredients

·         1 cup cornmeal

·         1 cup unbleached flour

·         2 tablespoons sugar

·         1 tablespoon baking powder (I use aluminum-free)

·         1 cup vanilla soy milk (if you have plain soy milk, just add in a teaspoon of vanilla)

·         1/4 c. applesauce

·         1/4 c. pure maple syrup

Instructions

1.       Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Lightly oil a 9-inch square baking pan and set aside.

2.      In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the cornmeal, flour, sugar and baking powder. Add the soy milk, applesauce and maple syrup and whisk to combine. Pour batter into the prepared pan.

3.      Place pan on middle rack in oven and bake 20 minutes. Remove from oven and place on wire rack to cool. Cool briefly before cutting into squares and serving. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Vegan Pets

I was listening to a podcast the other day about animal rights. The podcast is called Animal Rights: The Abolitionist Approach Commentary. The host of the podcast, Gary Francione, was talking about veganism and pets. As an abolitionist, he believes in the end of all animal exploitation used for entertainment (circuses, rodeos, zoos), and the wearing or consumption of animals (fur, leather, wool, etc.). Even though he doesn’t think we should continue to bring new animals into the world, such as dogs, cats, pigs, chickens, cows, etc., he acknowledges a moral obligation to the ones that are already here.

He strongly advocated for vegan pets. He has dogs, but no other animals. It got me thinking… Should we impose our ethical beliefs on our pets? Would we force a tiger to eat only fruits and vegetables? Doesn’t their physiology count more than our ethics? Are dogs and cats obligate carnivores, meaning they need meat? Can dogs or cats even be vegan?

Religious parents “force” (for lack of a better word) their beliefs onto their children. Parents impose ethical and moral values (or lack thereof) on their children as they see fit. Should I force my beliefs on my dog and cats? Their health is my responsibility. Should I force a diet that, while it’s ethically responsible, may cause them harm? Some cats may be able to go vegan with no adverse effects. That’s great. But is it the norm? I’m not a vet, clearly, so I can only go by vets and authors that I trust who have researched the issue and concluded that cats cannot be vegetarians. Cats have short digestive tracts. Short digestive tracts are made for meat and the rapid elimination of food that rots quickly. Human digestive tracts are long and windy, used to squeeze vitamins and minerals out of our food. Herbivores, like cows, horses, zebras, iguanas, deer, rabbits, elephants, and hippos have complex digestive tracts. They secrete digestive enzymes in their saliva, just like humans, which starts to break down food immediately. Humans and herbivores also have to chew their food in order to swallow it. Carnivores can take it big chunks. Dog owners will know what I mean if they've ever watched their pooch hoover up their favorite meal in seconds. 

Carnivores, unlike Herbivores, have 10 times the amount of hydrochloric acid in their stomachs. This prevents sickness from pathogens like Salmonella, E. Coli, campylobacter, worms, etc. On the pH scale, their stomach acid with food is at 1. Humans, at 4 or 5. This is why humans have to cook animal products to a certain temperature to kill off bacteria. There are also differences in uric acid levels, but I’ll spare you the biology lesson.

Dogs resemble carnivores. They have sharp teeth made for tearing. They gulp their food instead of grinding it like humans. They have short intestines and acidic stomachs. They eat garbage, literally, out of cans, food off the street, fruits, vegetables…. Hell, they even eat poop occasionally. Just because they can, it doesn’t mean they should.

My dog is not currently vegan, although I have considered it. He has hypothyroidism and gets fat on too many carbohydrates, so his diet is protein heavy with low-carb vegetables and occasional fruits. I don’t know if soy is a good protein source for him and what, if any, protein requirements dogs have. Again, not an animal nutritionist.

Until I know more, I am not changing his diet. My cats will continue to be high-protein meat eaters. After watching the difference in my male cat after transitioning him off a dry food/high carb diet to a 100% protein-rich wet food diet, I will never feed carbs/grains to my cats again.

I thing I like about Gary Francione is he always gets me thinking. I love a good mental challenge. 

What I'm Eating Right Now....

Tempeh Pâté

Recipe created by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau, The Vegan Table

Ingredients

8 ounce package of tempeh (I use WestSoy - it’s organic and non-GMO)

1/2 cup eggless mayonnaise (e.g., Vegenaise) or more to taste

1/2 cup finely chopped green onions

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh dill

1/2 teaspoon minced fresh ginger

2 to 4 tablespoons tamari soy sauce (you can use reduced-sodium or regular)

Break the tempeh into four squares and add to steamer basket. Steam for 10-15 minutes, until its nutty aroma fills the air and it turns a lighter color. Transfer to a bowl, and using a potato masher, mash the tempeh into a paste. You can break out the old food processor, but why waste the energy washing extra stuff when you can use that time eating up this yummy pâté?!

Once you have a paste, let the tempeh cool. Once cool, add in all the other ingredients and blend well. Slather it on some flatbread crackers and enter vegan nirvana!

I defy you not to eat the whole thing in one sitting. 

Religious Bullies

*Disclaimer: When I refer to religious people in this post, I'm not lumping every person of faith into one category. If you're a believer and you nod your head while reading this, thinking, "Yeah, I know someone like this," this post is not about you. If, however, you are offended by this post, it's probably because you are a religious bully. I don't apologize and I don't mince words.

Jessica Alhquist vs. Cranston High School West

I’ve been following this case for several months. It actually started back in 2010 when parents of students in the school complained about the (8-foot tall) prayer banner. The school responded by holding meeting after meeting, but resolving nothing. A family filed a lawsuit with the ACLU and 16 year old Jessica decided to become a plaintiff in that case against the city. On January 11, 2012, federal Judge Ronald R. Lagueux ruled that it was unconstitutional for the banner to hang in a public school. Here is a text of the banner:

Our Heavenly Father,

Grant us each day the desire to do our best,

To grow mentally and morally as well as physically,

To be kind and helpful to our classmates and teachers,

To be honest with ourselves as well as with others,

Help us to be good sports and smile when we lose as well as when we win,

Teach us the value of true friendship,

Help us always to conduct ourselves so as to bring credit to Cranston High School West.

Amen

Since Jews, Hindus, and Muslims do not refer to god as “Our Heavenly Father,” it is obvious that it is a Christian prayer.

The First Amendment is very clear: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.” This Amendment prohibits the government from establishing a national religion and promoting a preference of one religion over another. Public schools are governmental buildings. Therefore, prayers, religious artifacts, and religious banners are unconstitutional and have no place in the school.

James Madison’s original proposal for a bill of rights provision read, “The civil rights of none shall be abridged on account of religious belief or worship, nor shall any national religion be established, nor shall the full and equal rights of conscience in any manner, or on any pretence [sic], infringed.”

Most Christians feel “What’s the big deal?” That’s only because it’s about their religion. Remember the mosque outrage in NYC? Many Christians wanted all mosques removed from the city, even though many Muslims died in the Towers. It’s only “not a big deal” when it’s about Christianity. If the prayer had been from the Koran and praised Allah, would these same Christians be calling it a “historical document?” I think not.

The most troubling aspect about this has been the vitriol levied against this young girl. She’s been harassed, screamed out, threatened with death, called a “little witch,” and even called “an evil little thing” by her own State Representative, Palumbo. Here is an adult man, sworn to uphold the Constitution, fueling the hatred for this young girl who did the right thing. It's our Constitution. Yours and mine.

Prayer belongs in churches and homes. Not in city or state government offices or schools. Private speech is very different from government speech. As a private citizen, I can express myself, such as through this blog, and can say almost anything short of slander or inciting violence. The government cannot. The government must be impartial in matters of religion. That means no “Ten Commandments” plaques at the county courthouse, or invocations at city council meetings, or prayers at graduation ceremonies or football games, or nativity scenes at City Hall, or prayer banners at schools. If you want a nativity scene on your front lawn, go for it. Or put it outside a church. But don’t put it on land paid for by taxes.

I applaud her courage and wish more Christians acted “Christ-like” when confronted with constitutional issues. Here is just a sampling of the posts that have been tweeted about her (spelling not corrected):

“Gods going to fuck your ass with that banner you scumbag.”

“This girl honestly needs to be punched in the face.”

“Ima go drown that atheist in holy water.”

“Lets all jump that girl who did the banner.”

“I hope there’s lots of banners in hell when your rotting in there you atheist fuck.”

That’s just a small sampling of the hundreds of tweets and Facebook posts she’s received. Not very Christian or tolerant. When she won her court case, the Freedom from Religion Foundation, and others, attempted to send her flowers. Every florist in Cranston refused, some stating they wouldn’t deliver “to that person” (which is a violation of the Civil Rights Act). FFRF finally found a florist in Connecticut, Glimpses of Gaia, to drive an hour each way to deliver them. Remarkably, Jessica has maintained a sense of humor. You can read her acceptance speech at the Freedom from Religion Foundation’s Annual Convention last October here: http://ffrf.org/outreach/awards/student-activist-awards/jessica-ahlquist-thomas-jefferson-youth-activist/

There are reasons why many, many people believe that religion is harmful and divisive. Look at this one incident. It happens all over. It’s not enough to simply “look the other way” as many have suggested. What if it was a swastika? Or a flaming cross? How about a noose? Would “looking away” be the answer? No. All of these are offensive. And, when you’re a non-believer, religious idols are offensive when hoisted on you. You can’t ignore an 8-foot banner that you have to walk by every day. No one should have to. Tolerance needs to go both ways, but that’s rarely the case with Christian bullies. They’re never wrong and they think their god is the god and god should be displayed everywhere (forgetting, of course, the Third Commandment: “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.”) Yeah, whoopsy. I guess in their zeal to condemn Jessica to an imaginary hell, they forgot to read the actual book they, supposedly, base their faith on. 

If you’re going to take the Commandments seriously, which most Christians don’t unless it furthers their cause, nearly every Christian would be going to hell for displaying a landscape drawing, a statue of Jesus, or a family vacation photo at the Grand Canyon. Or they'd be stoned to death for not observing the Sabbath.

Numbers 15:32-36:

While the people of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day. And those who found him gathering sticks brought him to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation.  They put him in custody, because it had not been made clear what should be done to him.  And the LORD said to Moses, “The man shall be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him with stones outside the camp.” And all the congregation brought him outside the camp and stoned him to death with stones, as the LORD commanded Moses.

In Exodus, it states you must rest, cannot work, cannot gather or prepare food from evening to evening, and cannot make a fire. "You shall keep the Sabbath, because it is holy for you. Everyone who profanes it shall be put to death. Whoever does any work on it, that soul shall be cut off from among his people.  Six days shall work be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day shall be put to death." (Ex 31:14–15)

Not every religious person is intolerant. Some religious leaders in her community have come out to support her right to express her opinion and condone the attacks on her person, her family, and her character. But, generally speaking, most fundamentalists are the first ones to throw the proverbial stone and spew hatred “in the name of Jesus.” If he did exist, I’m thinking he’d be pretty pissed at the folks threatening violence.

The sad thing is the lack of understanding of the real issue – preserving the Constitution. This isn’t about banning God or a “war on God” as most zealots would have you believe. You can have God in your church, your home, your office, your car, your dorm room, or on your front lawn. Just not in a government building or on government-owned land. That’s it. Government buildings are a small fraction of one-percent of all the buildings in the country. You want to erect a giant cross on your lawn, go for it. You want to plaster your car with “Jesus fish” bumper stickers, you can. That’s private speech.

Not all Christians are Bible-thumping hypocrites. Most lead quiet, private lives (as Jesus instructed). "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 6:1)

Act piously to elicit the praise of others? Hmmm… kind of sounds like the GOP candidates, doesn’t it?

“But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” (Matthew 6:6) Most Christians seem to ignore this and pray openly in public, defying the very teachings they believe in. Again, it’s what furthers their cause, not what is actually written in the Bible.

“A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.” (Proverbs 29:23)

Planned Parenthood vs. The Susan G. Komen Foundation

Then we have the matter of the Susan G. Komen Foundation suspending their funding to Planned Parenthood. The “official” response, at the time, was a Florida House Republican (Stearns) initiated an inquiry into PP related to public funding (i.e., tax dollars) and abortions and that their “new” policy was to not give grants to companies under government investigation. (It should be noted that such an inquiry is not a formal investigation, so it wouldn’t fall under the “new” policy.)

PP, while offering abortions, in addition to dozens of other services, cannot use public funds to pay for this service. So, whenever you hear a religious nut ball saying “public funded abortions,” it’s a load of crap. PP has been around for 95 years. There have been zero cases of them misusing tax dollars. Zero. Many religious bullies have accused them many times via unscrupulous means (read: misleading internet stories and rumors) but nothing has ever been proven. Zero.

Most in the media and even the President of PP, Cecile Richards, knew the real reason was anti-choice, anti-women’s healthcare right-wing bigots pressuring SGK, relentlessly, over the breast cancer screening funding and they finally caved to the pressure. In addition, the SVP for public policy, Karen Handel, is staunchly anti-choice. When she ran for Georgia governor in 2010, she told voters she was "staunchly and unequivocally pro-life" and pledged to end state grants to Planned Parenthood clinics ¹. She was hired in April 2011. Supposedly, the “new” policy was enacted last fall (but no firm dates have been made available by SGK)… followed by the inquiry by Stearns in September 2011. Convenient? I would say so. Standing up to bullies is tough and takes courage, commitment, and fortitude. I wonder what Susan Komen herself would have thought about giving in to religious coercion.

Religious bullying is at an all-time high. It’s not surprising companies and organizations, like SGK, that rely on donations to succeed, bow to the pressure and give in. A lot of companies come under fire because some dogmatic person thinks everyone should think the way they do. Access to birth control has been a struggle thanks to Christians. The Women’s Suffrage Movement dragged on for years longer than it should have thanks to Christian men quoting the Bible (Corinthians 14:34. “Women should remain silent in church for they are not permitted to speak but should be in submission, as the law says.” Or, Timothy 2:11-13. “Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”). Slavery continued because it was condoned in the Bible. Gays and lesbians cannot marry because of religion. The list goes on.

“A bad wife brings humiliation, downcast looks, and a wounded heart. Slack of hand and weak of knee is the man whose wife fails to make him happy.” (Ecclesiastes 25:25)

Rape

Rape, as a “spoil of war,” is common in the Bible. There are too many passages to list, but can be found in the Old Testament. After any war, God would command all men, boys, and married women to death, but the virgins could be taken as a prize. (And people don’t understand Islam’s fascination with virgins in heaven? Seems like the Bible is full of virgins for the taking, too!) It’s no wonder men viewed women as property for centuries. God commanded it. Women were less than men. They could be raped with impunity (if they were virgins). They couldn’t speak in church or against a man (especially their husband). They could be divorced and abandoned if a man grew tired of them. They were sold into slavery (never the sons). They were forced to marry their rapist. And they were “unclean” during menses and after childbirth. It’s interesting to note that the birth of a female child made the woman “unclean” twice as long as if she’d born a male.

Then there’s the part where a rape victim must marry her attacker. That is, if he’s found. “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.” (Deuteronomy 22:28-29) Can you imagine imposing this today? It’s bad enough that Oklahoma is trying to prevent a woman from getting an abortion after she’s raped (SB 1433).

If he’s not found, or no one hears her cries, she is stoned to death for being defiled. “If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death—the young woman because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man’s wife. You must purge the evil from among you.” (Deuteronomy 22:23-24) I guess God didn’t realize a man can smother a woman to stop her cries. I guess that’s his version of “she had it coming.”

Remind me why anyone thinks this is a “good book” or a morality lesson? Murder, incest, rape. Where’s the morality? Nowhere. In fact, it gets worse….

Judges 19:22-29 tells the tale of a stranger who came to stay at the house of an old man in the town of Gibeah. The stranger had his concubine and a servant with him. When men of the town came knocking, asking for the stranger to come out so that they could know him “carnally,” the old man offered his virgin daughter and the stranger’s concubine. “Humble them and do with them as you please, but to the man do not do such a vile thing!” The concubine was raped and abused all night until the dawn and died at the doorstep of the old man’s house. How did the stranger honor her awful death? By carving her into 12 pieces, “limb by limb” and scattering her around Israel. But it didn’t end there. The Israelites battled the men of Gibeah. Over 25,000 men were “defeated” (murdered) by God. “The Lord defeated Benjamin before Israel” (Judges: 20:35). But that wasn’t enough. The Israelites went back and killed all the children and set fire to “all the cities they found” (Judges 20:48). But that still wasn’t enough. God is insatiable for blood and murder.

He then sent out 12,000 men to Jabesh Gilead and commanded them to “Go and strike the inhabitants of Jabesh Gilead with the edge of the sword, including the women and children” (Judges 21:11). It’s unclear how many that was, but let’s say 500 to be conservative. It had to be a considerable amount to send 12,000, but we’ll stick with 500 for argument’s sake. So, with the dead of Gibeah, we have close to 26,000 dead. Only a few of these were the actual perpetrators. How’s this logical or even reasonable? It would be like destroying a town and all its inhabitants today because one crime occurred. The rape could have been prevented had the old man simply locked his door and told the men to “fuck off!” Why did 26,000 people, innocent people, have to die? Compassionate God, I think not. He’s the biggest bully and murderer of all.

The Story of Lot

Two angels were staying with Lot. Much like Gibeah, men came knocking so that they could know the angels “carnally.” Lot answered, “I have two daughters who have not known man, you may do to them as you wish” (Genesis: 19:8). The men did not want the virgin daughters, so they crashed into the house where they were promptly blinded by the angels. (Why the angels couldn’t have done that sooner is beyond me!) The angels warned Lot to leave Sodom before it was destroyed. As they fled to Zoar, Lot’s wife looked back at the “fire and brimstone” and (poof!) turned into salt. After the destruction, Lot and his daughters dwelt in the mountains. This is when they (the daughters) hatched a devious plan to get their father drunk, have sex with him, and bear his children (Genesis 19:30-38). They succeeded, having a son each (boys, of course!!!).

Can you say incest?

Birth Control

This is the latest attack by religious bullies. They don’t want to dispense birth control in religiously-affiliated hospitals or offer it under an insurance policy. Churches are exempt. Catholics and other evangelicals are screaming “religious infringement.” Don’t they understand that affordable access to birth control reduces abortion and saves lives? If it’s about preventing unwanted pregnancies, give women access to birth control. If you’re fighting it on the grounds that God tells you to “go forth and multiply,” then how do you explain male masturbation? Seems to me that is the biggest waste of future kids than the pill, which is only 98.6% effective (give or take). All that spilled semen seems like a crime. But, since it’s MEN doing it, it must be okay. Only women’s reproductive health is an issue. Not Viagra, penile implants, or vasectomies (also a form of birth control, yes?). 

The "War" on Christmas

What I find most irritating about this fake war is the arrogance of most Christians. You don’t hear Jews pushing Menorahs or Muslims pushing Kwanzaa, or Wiccans displaying Gaia at City Hall. It’s always Christians. They constantly force their god on everyone else. They’re so sure they’re right that anyone who disagrees is “evil” or the “antichrist.” I think most choose ignorance over knowledge when it comes to their “holy book.” How else can you explain the contradictions in the Bible and still maintain it is the inerrant word of God? The most important story – the Resurrection – is contradicted in the gospels. There are 3 very different accounts. And not just about little things. When it happened, who was there, how many angels appeared – all of these things don’t add up. Don’t take my word for it. Read the Bible. Read each chapter, take notes on specific details, and compare. If one thing is wrong (and there are many things wrong), how can you trust the validity of the rest? You have two choices: Accept that the Bible was written by man and has no divine powers, or, ignore the facts and continue deluding yourself into believing the Bible was written by God… Who got his facts wrong. And makes mistakes. And makes you intolerant of others. 

And makes you a bully.